Sunday, November 13, 2005

Extraordinary Ordinary Days

In the church calendar, there is a long spell from Eastertide until Advent and it's called Ordinary Time. Easter is over and Advent/Christmas are a long ways off so there are few exciting festivals and celebration. As a good friend who loved Ordinary Time once noted, "let's face it, ordinary time is most of where we live". So true - we should savor and find all the little delights in ordinary time.

I write today with no real news at all. It's hard to believe I have completed about 3 months of fulltime work and so far, am keeping up! The support of so many has helped me and encouraged me and I am grateful.

Have patience with me, my friends! I can do so much now and it's great and I'm trying as hard as I can to get better, do it all and not let you down. Yet, there's so much more I wish I could do for you all and can't, and I hope you'll have patience with me and grant me grace as I keep on going and keep on trying to get stronger and wiser.

I was stunned to discover that it took me a good week to recover from the October 30 concert! I hurt everywhere and the tiredness was amazing. It's better now - yay - but wow! The holidays are coming and there will be lots of activities, special concerts to lead (!!) and so many things and people to see! I guess I'll just do the best I can and hope for the best. I suspect I'll be working and resting and that's about all I'll be able to do-and I sure hope I can do that. Forgive me and bear with me if I'm less than an attentive friend to you during this time. Selfish as it is to say, I need your friendship more than ever, so do let me hear from you if you can!!

My goal during the rest of 2005 is to keep up, learn to accept the crummy stuff, find the fun and keep overcoming the fear. I hope you can do the same as we all have problems, difficulties and fears. It's selfish of me to "wallow" in my own and allow them to control my actions - and yet it still happens at times! It sure has given me a sense of appreciation for folks who deal with trauma and difficulty all the time and I hope it has made me a kinder, gentler person.

Know others who have been through traumatic injury to themselves or loved ones? Remember to give them a hug and helping hand - the trauma for ALL lasts a lot longer than one might think. My poor family has sure been through it and I know they are still having the same flashbacks and fears that I do. You think you're past it and then out of nowhere, whack! But we ARE getting there and we WILL be better and stronger and kinder in the end! There is hope! There is joy and there is beauty! Let's all support each other and share the hope!


Blogger Jacqui said...

this is wonderful. it reminds me of what i remind myself again and again-- life is mostly lived in the in-between times. sure, there are sudden milestones, pressing moments and prescient expperiences. but mostly life is culling the divine from the mundane, the everyday. joy and sorrow result more often from the way one chooses to see events, not from events themselves.

or, as Marcus Aurelius said, "Our life is what our thoughts make it."

2:08 PM  
Blogger Jan said...

This is a test...I can't seem to make the blog accept my comments. Am I supposed to type those weird letters? Jan (N)

9:27 AM  
Blogger Jan said...

Ah, there is a new twist to this blogging thing. So, let me re-create my thoughts from last night:

Because of very bad weather, I found myself with a little "found time" on my hands and decided to see what was on the blog. I felt at loose ends since I was not at rehearsal. My attempt to drive over last night began with a fearsome sky and terrible cross-winds, so I went back on to what I tried to write last night.

It is great that there is no need for the vigil we all kept last spring, checking in for the latest piece of news...but I miss reading all of the inspirational words from the many friends (and Jacqui) who stayed in touch. Pam's wonderful words from Nov. 13 are my reward for tuning in. As I sit in the choir and watch you work, Pam, I sometimes have to make myself remember the distance you and we have come because there is nothing that my eyes can see that reveals the pain of that remarkable journey. If you have made any "mistakes," they have gone unnoticed. Your ability to joke about what you have been through is also remarkable. I know you agonize about the things that are still in recovery, and you carry on with savoir faire. I hear your voice getting stronger and increasing in range...your patience has been sorely tested. With the anniversary of "The Sound of Music" being recognized, I think about Julie Andrews and her vocal trauma, from which she is also recovering.

There are many aspects about the complicated human body that can suffer trauma, and those of us who also have our own frailties empathize and cheer you on. It is a schock to feel robbed suddenly of something that makes us feel complete and which we took for granted as always being there.

The VUCC concert must have been euphoric for all of you, and I am anticipating a similar experience for all of us in Dec.

Listen to Jacqui...not only are you the "mama" and amazingly, totally "there," you also have the stick and wield it with confidance and aplomb! We love you. Thank you again for your joie de vivire, persistence, and radiance. Jan (N)

9:42 AM  

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