Thursday, February 17, 2005

Swirley whirley birds

Tonight, as Roland and I stood on the 'deck' overlooking the 'scenic Chinese atmosphere', I found myself overcome with little thoughts that swirl in my head like so many tiny birds. Snippets of conversation, special moments.

Your mother is very strong. [Nurse to me.]

I love you more than life itself. [Mom to Rol before her flight.]

Ay, Mami, I know it is hard. Here I will help you. [As the nurse gently rubs Mom's chest.]

Your Mom, my thoughts, to God. [Ember, our supersecret special waitress at the Irish pub.]

I would transplant my heart for you. [Me to my Mom on Valentine's Day.]

In all my years here, I have never seen a patient get mail before. [Nurse remarking on the truckload of mail that arrived in one day for Mom.]

The list goes on and on and on. Memories of special moments flit in and out of focus. My Mom holding me as I sobbed for hours and hours after a horrible tragedy. Her equanimity during frequent phonecalls regarding the heating system at Andrew Price. A rousing rendition of the Twelve Days of Christmas at Darfons one year that almost got us kicked out. Rol and company singing 'Goodnight ladies' after we did get kicked out another day. Her bravery one day as she tried to save a child's life. The terrible terrible red wine at the Chinese place.

So many moments of history, so many more to come of future.

With love, in reflection,

jackie chris

5 Comments:

Blogger ang said...

jacqui--
I found this blog by mere chance (by clicking "Next Blog" actually!), but I'm so glad I did. How lucky your mom is to have such a committed, selfless daughter. I have shared your blog address on my own blog. Be assured that lots of folks in the Cincinnati area are praying for your mom and sharing in your journey.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Dave & Nancy Estes Park said...

Hi Guys Hope all is well today. We check the site many times a day and look forward to your posts. We know it must be exhausting for you everyday but we really like to know what's happening. We are sending positive thoughts your way every minute of every day. Sending lots of hugs! Zane says Hi! Love Dave and Nancy

6:32 PM  
Blogger rostitchery said...

jacqui, we love being able to check in and find out how things are going. thank you for maintaining the blog on such a frequent basis, i know it is an effort to make time, and probably even more of an effort to put difficult thoughts into words.

please give pam and roland our love, let them know that they and all of you continue in our prayers. rowena, rudi, ella.

6:56 PM  
Blogger Jan said...

Jacqui, et.al.,
I continue to marvel at your stamina and your gifted writing about this life-changing event. Through this blogging experience I have come to know more about Pam than I ever could have known otherwise. Her impact on others, even those to whom she is a stranger, is amazing. All of us in the outer circle watching and waiting for your return take comfort in your dedication and love, and we can only learn how to be a better daughter, son, wife, husband, sibling, and friend by following your examples. Continued love...Jan (N)

9:41 PM  
Blogger charlotte said...

jacqui,
are we allowed to send stuff again? i'd really like to send a couple CDs.
charlotte

5:42 PM  

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