Monday, April 11, 2005

Slippy slippy days

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Or the road to adequate blogging in this case.

I have been sitting here trying to remember why I didn't post on Saturday.

We got up early enough Saturday and drank coffee for a bit. Then Roland was off to all-day auditions. Mom and I headed out shortly thereafter. We went to the gym. It was a bit of a challenge getting Mom and all the gear inside but things were fairly smooth sailing from there. The PT at Stallworth said that Mom could safely try riding an exercise bike without breaking the 'no weight-bearing' rule as long as we were careful. So we got Mom settled in on the bike and I went to change. Mom rode a solid 40 minutes- granted the bike was off instead of on level 12- but it was 40 minutes nonetheless! (Treadmill warm-up, abs, legs, and 20 minutes bike for me.)

Then home for Home Ec 101. Mom started on banana nut bread while I ran to the store. (Don't worry. We have loads of rules for our small separations.) I got back and Mom was completely tapped out and taking a rest on the sofa. We finished up the bread and moved on to oatmeal raisin cookies. Woo hoo! Exhausting but yummy.

Mom commented repeatedly on how striking it was. The draining difficulty of just lifting the oil, finding the vanilla, dragging the sugar from the cupboard. The profound exhaustion of just assembling batter.

Aching to watch for anyone. Truly heartwrenching when said person is such a dynamo as Mom.

Then rest for Mom and chores for me. That pretty much took care of Saturday. Sunday was fairly equivalent except that I got out a few hours for a pleasant evening with new friends. Joy. Getting out is critical to maintaining balance and perspective yet also so hard at the end of a long draining day.


As Mom would say.

Today, anticipating a long long day, we headed out a little late. First stop, have Mom's blood drawn. Lunch to follow then on to the neuroophthalmologist. Mom wound tight but coils on the low-down. She, of course, knew there was something wrong with her eyes, but didn't want anything sinister to be found. As she cannot recall the accident, she has a subconsious fear of it recurring without warning. So she is always waiting, for the other shoe to drop.

The appointment started promisingly enough with little wait in the first waiting area before heading back with our forms. Little waiting in the second waiting area and then in for history taking and examination by the primary technician who started with the pirate type tests...


Blogger wendi s said...

Dear Jacqui,
I have been lurking since the beginning of this trip you are all taking. I laugh, cry, smile, & grimace at the steps up the mountain to get to the fruited plain! You are all such good warriors. Joanna and I are a little ahead (hah!) in the journey. Therefore we are qualified to say you are making REMARKABLE tools: keeping the faith; hollering really loud when frustrated, followed by massage or food or other; hugs, hugs, hugs all around at frequent intervals; letting the patient or not so patient know often that SHE IS NOT THE CRAZY ONE. Lots of love to you all on this journey. Prayers to follow! Jacqui, I could sure use a contact or address at your Mom's so I can reach out & touch you!
Still sane part of most days...wendi

6:47 AM  
Blogger Sarah-Elizabeth said...

Dear Team Schneller,
Although the pain staking of horridly evil doctors and hours in waiting rooms are probably going to happen more and more, at least this was one day, and you got to have a little fun taking some cute pictures. Keep up the good work!

3:01 AM  
Blogger Jan said...

Dear Jacqui,
Thank you again for your commitment to keeping us informed. While the urgency of the first few weeks has passed, please know how much we appreciate having your words appear on the blog, whether daily or not. We also know that you have to find some respite. Wendi S. had good advice about the tools you need to stay focused. Forgive us if we are relaxing a little and not frantically blogging back...a good sign, really, because we are so buoyed by the progress that Pam is making that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is not so bright for all of you, yet. It will be!!!

I heard an interesting interview today on NPR's "Fresh Air" with a woman who has written several books about her own journey with recovery from breast cancer. My own personal connection made me listen carefully as she talked about how anyone who has a serious injury or illness must face how it changes our lives,how it takes over our lives, and how the length of time committed to recovery is a frustrating but necessary investment in returning to the new life we have after the hard work lessens. (My first year with VCC and Pam was my year of hard work, and singing every Tuesday was what got me through the week.) The author's website is She has a memoir as well as two guidebooks published. You have the fuel for your own memoir. One of her recommendations is to write our way through such a journey.

Pam, I hope Roland passed along the hug I gave him on Tuesday night. Your absence is palpable, but we are soldiering on and take comfort in the beautiful music you have chosen for us to sing.
Love, Jan (N)

11:17 PM  
Blogger Jan said...

Okay...just tried the suggested website, and it did not work. However, Musa Mayer (author's name) does get to info about her and her books. J.

11:31 PM  

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